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Peacemaker continued; page 3/4
Patience
The hardest thing for me as a trial lawyer
in a mediation was to be patient when I had a pretty good idea
where things were going. The hardest thing for me now, as a
mediator, is convincing the parties to be patient and let the
mediation develop.
Negotiations are sometimes described as a
dance. In order for them to be successful there needs to be
cooperation and communication among the negotiating parties.
Think of the mediator as the dance instructor. He or she is the
one who selects the music and determines if this is a foxtrot,
swing, or salsa. Just as the mediator should be flexible in
responding to the personalities of the parties, the parties
need to be flexible enough to follow the mediator’s
approach to the mediation.
“Don’t short-circuit the
dance” is an expression I’ve heard for years in and
out of mediation. Until I started working as a mediator, I
didn’t fully appreciate how important this is.
Mediations develop at a pace and the pace
is always slower than the parties, generally in separate rooms,
like. You may know where this mediation is going but to move
the other party takes time. If you rush the process, either the
plaintiff is going to feel he or she left money on the table,
or the defendant is going to feel that he or she overpaid.
Both parties should come out of a
successful mediation feeling they got the best deal they could
under the circumstances.
Some mediations, often because of the
personalities of the parties or the history of the case, will
simply drag on with small baby steps, because neither party is
willing to move out of fear the other side will take it as a
sign of weakness and not reciprocate. This is where patience
comes into play.
If you’re a plaintiff, don’t
be insulted with a low opening offer that merely responds to an
unreasonably high demand. Likewise, if you’re defending,
offering five cents on the dollar will not bring the plaintiff
down from an unrealistic demand. When you make an offer or
demand, think about how the other side will react to it.
Trusting the Mediator
Oftentimes the mediator will deliver bad
news. My advice is this: Don’t shoot the mediator, he or
she is merely conveying information back and forth. Better to
work with the mediator to try to design a response that might
move your opponent. Sometimes it just isn’t going to
happen. Remember, this is an entirely voluntary process and,
even though most cases will eventually settle, some cases just
have to be tried.
As a negotiator in a mediation, you are
only privy to one part of the story. You may understand the
needs, interests, and personalities in your room, but not in
the other. If the mediator changes course (a good one will,
sometimes several times in one mediation) trust the
mediator’s approach. As lawyers we are trained to control
the courtroom. Its hard letting go of that in mediation, but
remember you hired the mediator to assist you in resolving your
case.
Let the mediator do his or her job.
I’ve had parties absolutely refuse to respond to a
proposed bracket. In one case it was because “our firm
doesn’t negotiate that way”. In another, It was
“…if they do so here the other party will think
they’ll do this in all negotiations” . This makes
no sense, if the goal is to fairly settle the case. Your
responsibility in mediation is to do what is best for your
client, and if that means adapting the negotiation approach to
the case, then you ought to consider that method.
next page | 3/4
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Copyright 2008 by
Jeffrey Foote Mediation. All rights are reserved.
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